Thursday, July 20, 2006

 

One day ahead of disaster

Well my last group returned last week and not a day too soon. I mean that literally. Everywhere we went we seemed to be a day ahead of war.

We visited Kibbutz Erez adjoining Gaza. We watched the smoke from IDF shells passed bulldozers preparing to re-enter Northern Gaza. When the group asked where the border actually was they were surprised to be shown the fence a few dozen feet in front of them. The following day the army entered Northern Gaza and recaptured the former settlements of Alei Sinai, Nissanit and Dugit.

I thought we had passed the dangerous part when we went north. We stayed at Kibbutz Maagan on the shores of the Kinneret. On Wednesday, the group’s final day in Israel we visited Safed and shopped among the galleries in the old Jewish quarter. On Thursday Ketyushas hit Safed killing and injuring residents there. Maagan is now empty of visitors and the hotel is closed.

My next group is due to arrive on Wednesday, but right now we don’t yet know if they will come or not. Everything is on hold and we are waiting for news. With my recent record it might be better if they cancel.

A, (soon to be unemployed if this goes on much longer) tour guide

Sunday, July 09, 2006

 

"............."

Things did improve since my last post. The group is going well and I just spent a very meaningful Shabbat with them. However now I have a different problem.

I have lost my voice.

Pretty much completely lost my voice

I open my mouth and a sort of whispery croak comes out.

It can’t even be called sexy – which is generally the one compensation you get when you lose your voice.

This is something of a problem for a tour guide who depends on…you know …speaking at loud volumes (or indeed at any volume). It would probably be comical if it wasn’t so annoying. I still have another four days of guiding with this group – and then another group arrives shortly after they leave.

Help! What does a tour guide do when they lose their voice?

Suggestions welcome in the comments box.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

 

DON'T MESS WITH PMS (I would have said PMT but S rhymes better)

There is no doubt in my mind that male tour guides have it easier than female ones. They don't have the bus driver power struggle to contend with. They are not patronised or flirted with by aging tourists. No one criticises them for dressing too casually or not wearing make up (It has happened to me more than once. I kid you not) and most of all...they never have to guide with raging PMT (PMS for my American readers).

Today was one of my worst days guiding ever. Everything that could go wrong did. And to cap it all I was in the midst of hormonally provoked emotional meltdown.


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