Saturday, January 07, 2006

 

Family Trials

Well my family is in town. Naturally I was very excited to have them visit. Especially as everyone was coming together - which hasn't happened in 25 years.

I offered to guide them whilst they were visiting. To which my sister responded 'Do you have to...'

Siblings! I am a well respected and well paid tour guide. My daily rate starts at $150 not including tip and I was offering my services for free. I bet if I was a doctor they wouldn't turn away my professional expertise so casually. I bet they'd be calling every five minutes to discuss their latest mole.

Anyway a few of the family did decide to join me on a tour in Jerusalem's old city. After 5 minutes I was the one regretting it. Real tourists listen to what I have to say, are impressed with my stories and ask apposite questions. Sisters - not so much. Case in point:

Me: Now you are working along the Byzantine cardo from 1500 years ago. These stones were uncovered during excavations and are actually the original paving stones.

Sister One: Is that toilet sign also 1500 years old

Sister Two: What about that sweet wrapper.

Example no. Two - whilst discussing uses of a cistern in the Herodian mansions (it is more interesting than it sounds, I promise).

Me: So imagine the situation. You are home one day smoking a cigarette when suddenly you hear your parents car pull up in the driveway. What do you do?

Sister One: I never smoked - that was sister two.
Sister Two: No it wasn't me it was sister three.
Sister One: But it was you who came back drunk from the party when you were 15 and threw up in the hall.
Sister Two: Yes but you were caught with your boyfriend in your bedroom.
Sister One: Only because you told on me.
Sister Two: But I wanted to go to bed.
etc. etc.

Grrr - and worst of all, they don't tip at the end. However they do bring me out gifts and chocolate from home so I guess that it is worth it after all.

Comments:
Isn't it supposed to be their love and the indescribable sisterly bond which makes it all worthwhile after all? As opposed to chocolate.
 
Excellent reading - will look forward to coming back as this develops!!

Shavua Tov
 
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