Saturday, January 07, 2006


Family Trials

Well my family is in town. Naturally I was very excited to have them visit. Especially as everyone was coming together - which hasn't happened in 25 years.

I offered to guide them whilst they were visiting. To which my sister responded 'Do you have to...'

Siblings! I am a well respected and well paid tour guide. My daily rate starts at $150 not including tip and I was offering my services for free. I bet if I was a doctor they wouldn't turn away my professional expertise so casually. I bet they'd be calling every five minutes to discuss their latest mole.

Anyway a few of the family did decide to join me on a tour in Jerusalem's old city. After 5 minutes I was the one regretting it. Real tourists listen to what I have to say, are impressed with my stories and ask apposite questions. Sisters - not so much. Case in point:

Me: Now you are working along the Byzantine cardo from 1500 years ago. These stones were uncovered during excavations and are actually the original paving stones.

Sister One: Is that toilet sign also 1500 years old

Sister Two: What about that sweet wrapper.

Example no. Two - whilst discussing uses of a cistern in the Herodian mansions (it is more interesting than it sounds, I promise).

Me: So imagine the situation. You are home one day smoking a cigarette when suddenly you hear your parents car pull up in the driveway. What do you do?

Sister One: I never smoked - that was sister two.
Sister Two: No it wasn't me it was sister three.
Sister One: But it was you who came back drunk from the party when you were 15 and threw up in the hall.
Sister Two: Yes but you were caught with your boyfriend in your bedroom.
Sister One: Only because you told on me.
Sister Two: But I wanted to go to bed.
etc. etc.

Grrr - and worst of all, they don't tip at the end. However they do bring me out gifts and chocolate from home so I guess that it is worth it after all.

Isn't it supposed to be their love and the indescribable sisterly bond which makes it all worthwhile after all? As opposed to chocolate.
Excellent reading - will look forward to coming back as this develops!!

Shavua Tov
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