Tuesday, January 31, 2006


Adventures with Bus Drivers

Sorry for going dark for a while. I have had a little break and not been guiding so I haven't had very much to say. My next group is in a couple of weeks but in the meantime I have decided to sound off about something that irks me. Namely Bus Drivers. Or to be more specific - overweight, middle aged bus drivers who think that since I am a woman I must be open to their amorous advances. Or to put it less poetically - Why don't they stop hitting on me?

Any female guide - especially the young ones - will tell you the same story. Drivers seem to take our very existence and as invitation. Talk about sexual harassment in the workplace. No I am not interested in coming to your room later on. I don't want to get together after the group leaves and I know I look good - no need to ogle. They are usually married too.

The thing that annoys me the most is that they think they are giving me a compliment by hitting on me. For my part I don't see it that way. "Sure you are sweaty, middle aged, overweight and have only half your teeth, but I am so desperate I would love to have sex with you." How hard up do they think I am.

But this doesn't mean I have altogether ruled out the possibility of finding love in the workplace. I still harbour fantasies of the dashing, young, single (wealthy) participant so inspired by guiding (and besotted by my looks) that he decides to stay and woo me. It could happen. I know someone for whom it did. In the meantime I shall continue to ward off the advances of the drivers and come up with strategies to get the gig as the guide for the JDate tour in May.

Sunday, January 15, 2006


Follow Up

In follow up to my post about the Old City's Arab Shuk here are some pics my sister took.

Saturday, January 07, 2006


Family Trials

Well my family is in town. Naturally I was very excited to have them visit. Especially as everyone was coming together - which hasn't happened in 25 years.

I offered to guide them whilst they were visiting. To which my sister responded 'Do you have to...'

Siblings! I am a well respected and well paid tour guide. My daily rate starts at $150 not including tip and I was offering my services for free. I bet if I was a doctor they wouldn't turn away my professional expertise so casually. I bet they'd be calling every five minutes to discuss their latest mole.

Anyway a few of the family did decide to join me on a tour in Jerusalem's old city. After 5 minutes I was the one regretting it. Real tourists listen to what I have to say, are impressed with my stories and ask apposite questions. Sisters - not so much. Case in point:

Me: Now you are working along the Byzantine cardo from 1500 years ago. These stones were uncovered during excavations and are actually the original paving stones.

Sister One: Is that toilet sign also 1500 years old

Sister Two: What about that sweet wrapper.

Example no. Two - whilst discussing uses of a cistern in the Herodian mansions (it is more interesting than it sounds, I promise).

Me: So imagine the situation. You are home one day smoking a cigarette when suddenly you hear your parents car pull up in the driveway. What do you do?

Sister One: I never smoked - that was sister two.
Sister Two: No it wasn't me it was sister three.
Sister One: But it was you who came back drunk from the party when you were 15 and threw up in the hall.
Sister Two: Yes but you were caught with your boyfriend in your bedroom.
Sister One: Only because you told on me.
Sister Two: But I wanted to go to bed.
etc. etc.

Grrr - and worst of all, they don't tip at the end. However they do bring me out gifts and chocolate from home so I guess that it is worth it after all.

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